Just a few more comments:
No one has 'just one' aptasia They are much to prolific to just have one. It is very easy to have hundreds of small aptasia in your tank and never see them. They tend to stay quite small and out of sight. Tanks full of aptasia are also full of nutrients.
If you look carefully at any tank in the hobby (including your favorite lfs) you are almost assured to find multiple nussiance creatures(bubble algae, diatoms, aptasia, mujanos, etc.)
Yes, dead fish should be removed quickly. When wholesale orders come in to any location the fish and corals are horribly stressed. It is inevitable that something will die, but it is also very possible for that tang that comes out of the bag swimming sideways will pull through.
We buy live rock because it has creatures on/in it. But you will get some bad with the good.
In this hobby it is not a matter of if, but when. I prefer a much more hands off approach to my tanks. I have aptasia, mujanos, algae, etc. I work to control these creatures but I don't worry about them until they become so numerous that they are a problem. I know plenty of people who scrape xenia, star polyps, and even zoas off their rocks because they grow like weeds.
Ok, that is all for now. I could go on forever.