cMidd Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I've tried everything. Any suggestions:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timfish Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Make money off it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cMidd Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 I wish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pbnj Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 You can't....just give them money to go shopping and leave you alone to enjoy your tank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offroadodge Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 get them involved in understanding and dont center every minute on the tank. It will grow W/O you looking at it. My wife likes the tank alot, but she doesnt LOVE it like i do. You could ask her what she'd like to have in the tank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hydro Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm not qualified to give out personal advice but here it is anyway.... Show her some cool corals/fish online or take her to a LFS and let her buys something that she picks out completely on her own. Ususally women enjoy buying things they pick out, hopefully you have the same taste in livestock. Get her involved by asking her to feed this fish in the evening, try to get her sucked in to the tank drama. Basically figure out what she likes about the aquarium and roll with it, if it feels like its YOUR tank she isn't going to show as much interest. I get my wife sucked in by asking her "where should I put this coral?", "do you like this rock here?" , and we shop for coral and fish together usually online. One other thing...make sure that the "quality time" that you have doesn't get spent entirely on your tank. This causes some resentment I think for the tank, its hard to appreciate something that you resent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cMidd Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 pbnj: Haha! Offroaddodge: agree 100%...probably should work on that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cMidd Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Amen hydro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hydro Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 get them involved in understanding and dont center every minute on the tank. It will grow W/O you looking at it. My wife likes the tank alot, but she doesnt LOVE it like i do. You could ask her what she'd like to have in the tank. ya what Jeremy said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishypets Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 You sell it off and start a cheaper hobby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesL Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Did Mr SaltwaterTV have a show on this? Or was that picking up chicks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesL Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 But seriously, my wife likes looking at the tank. Might want to try things that look "flowery" (duncans, etc) ... those are what she seems to like the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Hydro Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Something that I have noticed with my wife is that the more time I spend on the tank the less she likes the tank. Before the new tank my wife was just as addicted as I was but after I spent 4-5 hrs a day 7 days a week for 3 months straight setting up the tank...she was over it. Now that everythings dialed in and I'm not spending so much time on the tank she has started to enjoy it again like she used to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cMidd Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Haha. I agree, flowery is good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medi Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Fishy stole my answer....The only way my wife would like my tank is if it was being carried out of the front door. I've tried all of the above with no success. To quote the Mrs. "I love your tank, I just want to love it at someone else's house." Although, I do have an idea that would work. Figure out a way to make this hobby cheap, and I mean dirt cheap. Then she might like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemirn Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Is she actively against it? Or just not interested? The first one is an a symptom of problems between you two. The second one shouldn't worry you too much--- maybe she's a creationist or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caferacermike Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Do what I did. Take her along on the trips and ask her if she sees anything she likes, when she points out something act like she didn't. After a few trips to the LFS and asking her what she liked and ignoring her, then say something like "wow that's expensive" and just walk on. Do this until she stops going to the stores with you. After awhile she will never mention the tank again. Mine must love my tank because she never mentions it to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooks Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Do what I did. Take her along on the trips and ask her if she sees anything she likes, when she points out something act like she didn't. After a few trips to the LFS and asking her what she liked and ignoring her, then say something like "wow that's expensive" and just walk on. Do this until she stops going to the stores with you. After awhile she will never mention the tank again. Mine must love my tank because she never mentions it to me. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subsea Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm not qualified to give out personal advice but here it is anyway.... Show her some cool corals/fish online or take her to a LFS and let her buys something that she picks out completely on her own. Ususally women enjoy buying things they pick out, hopefully you have the same taste in livestock. Get her involved by asking her to feed this fish in the evening, try to get her sucked in to the tank drama. Basically figure out what she likes about the aquarium and roll with it, if it feels like its YOUR tank she isn't going to show as much interest. I get my wife sucked in by asking her "where should I put this coral?", "do you like this rock here?" , and we shop for coral and fish together usually online. One other thing...make sure that the "quality time" that you have doesn't get spent entirely on your tank. This causes some resentment I think for the tank, its hard to appreciate something that you resent Hydro, You sound like a romantic. I suspect you will have your tank and your wife for many years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cMidd Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 This is great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+etannert Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I can only speak for myself, but I got sucked in by watching the entire evolution of my boyfriend's first tank... especially watching worms, pods, etc., spring up out of the live rock during the cycle. I remember when we found the first worm tube in the sand and what an exciting moment that was! Finding the hermit crabs in all their various hiding spots was a daily game for me. Then when he got his first xenia, GSP, and zoas, it was such fun to see the frags grow. The tank was in our shared office, so if he was in there playing with it, he was in the same room as me (instead of watching sports!), and I was happy about that. And watching him get so excited about a new polyp in a zoa colony or getting into SPS was really fun to take part in; I started going to the LFS and on frag buying trips with him and was amazed at all the cool stuff you could do in a tank. He would ask me for help with water changes or explain about the needs of different corals and just generally involve me in the stuff he was doing with the tank. Long story short, I got my first tank in July, and we're now a 3-tank (soon to be 4) household. Water changes, testing, LFS trips, and talking about what we read online are regular shared activities for us. Now it helps that I have my own tank and am not just living vicariously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VooDoo Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 i think the wives actually like the calm setting of the tanks, they just don't want to admit it because it's a money pit. deep down inside they enjoy it. sort of like an ambient setting. my wife isn't as motivated as i am, but i catch her checking out the tank in her peripherals lol. she loves the dwarf fuzzy i got from RCA. she thinks it's bada**. lol Thanks Francis! she also says i need more color in the tank. bad mistake! haha that's basically telling me to buy more corals. but 9 out of 10 times, the "wardens" love the reefs. they just don't want to admit it because of the mula invested in them.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NonSequitur Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I asked my wife this question, and she wanted me to ask you what you mean by "love your tank." What is it that you want your wife to love about it? Comment on how it looks? Help with maintenance? This coming from a wife who bought me my first tank, then immediately regretted it because that's all I would talk about for months on end. She actually insisted on me joining ARC so I would annoy someone else with my obsession. Fast forward a year and a half, and she just suggested sticking around San Antonio for an extra hour so she could wait until her favorite fish store opened so we could get another skimmer to support the tank upgrade she just suggested I do. While we were there and I was deciding what to do skimmer-wise she picked out an urchin, and a new pistol shrimp so the watchman goby wouldn't be lonely since his shrimp died. She decided against a hippo tang after looking it up on her phone and deciding our tanks weren't big enough to keep it happy and healthy. She attributes her change of heart to a few things. First, when I joined ARC and could "talk fish" with someone other than her it took the pressure off of her to listen to me babble on and on about water chemistry, filtration, etc. As the newness started to wear off I kept tinkering with the tank, but didn't obsess to the point of neglecting the family. Just when I thought she'd had it with the entire hobby I mentioned wanting to add a clownfish to my already overstocked 12gal tank she replied "No way, it'll spike your nitrates!" Huh? She'd been listening all this time? It was backing off, not pressuring her to love my tank, that actually let her start to enjoy it, along with putting things in the tank that she liked. The symbiotic pistol shrimp/watchman goby relationship fascinated her. SPS corals bored her, but colorful zoas, softies, and LPS were huge hits. And then she said the words every married reefer wants to hear: "You need a bigger tank." And so our family has gone from a single resented 12gal to an interconected 90, 27, and 55gal system (plus multiple planted freshwater tanks), with her being an active part of tank care. I still service the skimmers, do water changes, etc, but she loves feeding the fish, watching to see how they're doing, seeing the interactions between creatures, she even noticed my lawnmower blenny was losing weight and rehabbed him to his former fat self. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VooDoo Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 ^^is that xenia on your tuxedo? lol too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NonSequitur Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Yup.. he carried it around for a few weeks, then dropped it into a powerhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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