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Agreed! We're trying our best to keep this forum a great place to visit and any help that people can give us is much appreciated. The report button is everything for us. We're volunteers so ideally we'd love to read every post and make sure everything is in the spirit of the club but clicking the report button when something needs to be looked into is of great help!

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In my opinion ARC is by far the most welcoming & helpful reef forum (or any forum, really) I've ever been to. On many other sites, both national and local, you have to put up with way more negativity to get though a conversation. While a couple of members may have had some issues I bet the vast majority of members, new and old, would agree.

Keep up the great work.

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It makes me happy to see that so many people are speaking up in support of the club in response to the recent departures of some members. I have always felt ARC is my go-to forum and that it is such a safer haven than the national forums for good clean discussions. I'm glad people here are making efforts to make the forums better and I will certainly be doing my part to continue to foster a positive and supportive atmosphere. crab.gif

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In lieu of a new thread titled "Im still in," I'll just reply here! yes, people can be abrasive at times, yes, people can be blunt a's sometimes... but such is life.

The amount of knowledge shared in ARC far surpass many many forums in the industry. This is possible due to the moderators nipping things in the bud quickly, but they cant do it alone, You have to help. This does not mean be super offended if you have a peanut allergy and someone makes a "peanut gallery" quip (that's a sarcastic example). If you overload the mods w/ petty drama, the real problem children will follow along and may slip through the cracks.

As a personal example... sometimes i may come off arrogant, either because I'm quoting research, had my head into the data for too long, just [think I] know how it is based on experience, or simply cant convey my thoughts into words. it does not mean I'm trying to be an arrogant a-hole, just my delivery might be.... blunt.

Don't argue just to argue. Don't automatically get offended due to the lack of inflection... take everything in context, reach out to someone you think is off the rails, and if that doesn't help, ping a moderator. Don't shut communication down if you feel offended, try and figure out if that was the original intent, more often than not, the other side never intended that.

Complaining, while trying to address the problem, is most often always welcome. Complaining just to complain while shutting down... not constructive (unless its about Ty... he knows why!)

EDIT: forgot to mention.. when i cant word things for normal humans and sound like Spock or Borg, my friends say "don't Isaac me." that's the hint that im either talking above their head, or below them, and I need to reword things sanely. It happens to all of us, just need to adjust sometimes! Its rarely meant to be offensive. (engineers & mathheads have this curse more than others, ask jolt!)

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I'd like to propose to all newbies and old members alike that if all of us make a valiant effort to try to attend some of the meetings, a lot of this negativity will go away. Meeting people in person always helps create a more personal relationship, and brings a higher level of empathy when posting. I know when I first posted on ARC a few quips were made and I thought some people were being a bit of jerks, but after meeting some of them, I realized there was no malicious intent what-so-ever. I realize this could be a huge ask as this hobby tends to attract introverts and meetings are the equivalent of torture, but I promise you it's not that terrible. :)

Beyond this, I have been involved in some strongly opinionated discussions on this board and felt that 99% of the time everyone was respectful even when disagreeing. I don't bother posting on any other boards (or god forbid, Facebook groups) about this hobby because most of the time people are just being negative, or worse yet, regurgitating completely unsubstantiated opinions that are frequently terrible or even dangerous. You want to know how all the false information gets embedded permanently in this hobby, just look at the awful responses elsewhere.

I will admit that I do get upset when I see or hear about people that are about to make (or have already made) a terrible mistake that's completely preventable. Unfortunately, it's hard to politely tell someone that they are about to make a potential mistake. I think this could be a common issue that people are complaining about. Unsolicited advice can come off as arrogant or condescending. I suspect that almost always the person dispensing the advice is not doing it to be a jerk but instead they are hoping to prevent heartache.

But the reality is we do have a responsibility to help others, and help ensure that people provide good husbandry to the animals we keep. It's our responsibility (ALL OF US) as participants in this hobby to do what we can to help others, to help them be successful. If this means reaching out to say a kind word, or perhaps rephrasing something so that it's not as aggressive a statement, then we should do our best to apply this very modest change in behavior.

I hope y'all will join me in being mindful of others' feelings, even when we disagree, and more importantly, when dispensing unsolicited advice, perhaps lay it down softly so that it's not taken with offense.

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This is the only forum I ever reply to. It is by far the best reef forum there is. I see our quotes and reposts on national forums more than I see any other local forum quoted. This is my take on why some new guys might feel slighted or left out or whatever you want to call it. When you are new, I believe if you ask a question or make a comment about what you are going to do, you should take the advice given and then do some research. I have trouble with new people coming here and saying they are going to reinvent the wheel while 30 of us read it and say that's not going to work. The humble person that accepts advice goes the furthest. If you hear something that you don't agree with then don't reply. Do research and come back with that. We all see people come and go and make the same mistakes, so sometimes a not so warm response by the seasoned guys might come off as short. But pm is always an option to say hey that hurt. No one here will continue it in a pm if you just say I didn't know, can you explain further. I love arc and help out every chance I get. I'm not necessarily friendly because I'm stating facts from experience. And my daughter likes to compliment mikes hair when he comes over. And he says thank you. That's how it's done

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The main cause of this problem is that with text, its hard to interpret the feeling. There is not tone of voice, facial expressions, etc. The second cause is people getting offended way too easily. When I first started I had fish in my tank and added about 50 lbs of rock. I posted here asking why my ammonia went up haha!!! People tore my face off via the forums..or so I thought. A few PMs later and I quickly realized how dumb my mistake was and how all the exclamation points were people just trying to help me out.I have read some posts that I could consider rude, except I know the people posting them and know they are in no way trying to be rude, just to the point. Before I click post, I read my message in my angry voice. If it sounds rude I make some changes. My first and only meeting that I went to ( I work Saturdays ), nobody came up to me and said "hey your new, nice to meet you"! However, I started conversations with lots of people myself and everyone was super cool. I'm glad I went and I'm glad I initiated the conversations. Most people joined this group for 1 reason...to get help... and naturally when you get help you want to give help. Were all here for the same reason! New job in October, Cant wait to start making some meetings and meet some more cool reefers!

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And my daughter likes to compliment mikes hair when he comes over. And he says thank you. That's how it's done

LOL, you don't know how many times bald guys hear that. Especially from kids, it just makes me grin.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wow, just got back from about 6 weeks away from Austin / the US / any communication, and apparently have to catch up here. This is one of if not the most helpful and tolerant web forums I've ever participated in...

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Wow, just got back from about 6 week away from Austin / the US / any communication, and apparently have to catch up here. This is one of if not the most helpful and tolerant web forums I've ever participated in...

It all fell apart when you left us Jestep! Next time give us warning before you leave. [emoji12]
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Wow, just got back from about 6 weeks away from Austin / the US / any communication, and apparently have to catch up here. This is one of if not the most helpful and tolerant web forums I've ever participated in...

Thanks for saying so, and welcome back!

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Wow, just got back from about 6 week away from Austin / the US / any communication, and apparently have to catch up here. This is one of if not the most helpful and tolerant web forums I've ever participated in...

It all fell apart when you left us Jestep! Next time give us warning before you leave. [emoji12]

why you always shifting blame? :)

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