Hello... and goodbye.

[cdf]

I just wanted to thank Ty, Sam, John, Ryan, and a couple of others for being friendly and making our stay here a bit more pleasant over the last 7 months. I hope that those few members who chose to befriend us will allow us to keep the lines of communication open in the future.

After thinking about this for several months, I was going to leave a long explanation of the many reasons why I have decided to depart from ARC- such as the occasional snarky replies to those newer to the hobby or less educated about it, the ignoring of new members at meetings, and quite a few other things- but there isn't really much point since it no longer matters. I felt like I had been hyperlinked to Reef Central with the ugly responses from a few long time members against a newer member this morning.

There have been many people in my travels, that shall remain nameless, who have apparently have/had similar feelings when it comes to this club- it's very clear this is not an isolated incident. I know that nobody will miss me as a member, who doesn't have much to offer, and it won't cripple ARC. I am confident however that the problem is far worse than it appears and is damaging the reputation of what could be a great club. I don't think the members who have been here several years with only a few posts is a coincidence.

Mods, feel free to delete all of my threads and posts since i've already edited them anyway. I'm not going away mad, just going away.

Feel free to go ahead and delete this thread or bash me for my opinion (and prove my point) since i'm done anyway.... life's too short.

Signing off.

[Dan H]

Well, I'm not sure what happened that soured your experience with ARC, but I would hope this is not common. I know I've purposely gone out of my way to try to be helpful and welcoming to new people at the meetings. As with any hobby, there will be people that have strong opinions and voice them. Unfortunately, sometimes that leads to hurt feeling or bad experiences. I honestly think this club has been extraordinarily welcoming to me when I joined, and I can honestly say I've found new friends because of ARC.

I'd love to chat with you and understand your opinion more as I feel that the meetings are a part of my responsibility and if there is a perceived problem, I'm very interested in improving the meetings to accommodate.

[Bluemoon]

Feel free to go ahead and delete this thread or bash me for my opinion (and prove my point) since i'm done anyway.... life's too short.

Signing off.

I'm really sorry to hear this. I truly respected your input in posts. Do you mind telling what you intended to get out of ARC when you first signed up?

I can understand moving away from a community because you don't like the language, and direction of conversation. Been there.

I apologize for actualizing your self-fulfilling prophecy, but you left quite incendiary public comments that will garner a negative response from anyone that doesn't share the same outlook as you.

In the short time since I've started lurking the boards; I've have had a few, very enlightening experiences, and met some life long friends.

Not being formally associated with ARC in anyway I feel I can speak a little more from my heart and say that like any club I've ever been in - you get out of it what you're willing to put in.

I've been to several meetings where no ones said a thing to me...unless I initiated conversation. Sometimes you have to do something extroverted in a room full of introverts. I can honestly say I have never, ever, received with a negative response from anyone I've actively engaged with in person during an ARC event.

Online. like every....other....single..... forums, like RC, like NR, like R2R, like paddle board forums, like pup forums, like brew forums....since I've been able to use the Internet forums have functioned with social bluntness that is quite repelling, but also has an obvious purpose. Just like I don't believe you would say the same thing to people at a meeting, I would never dare confront you in person over such a silly thing either.

I know with all I've just said, there's no way you'll take it as not offensive. For that I am also legitimately sorry. Losing a member is one warrior weaker.

I'm genuinely interested in what you were(hopefully still are!!) looking for out of the club.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[+BobcatReefer]

This is the most polite and civil board I've ever posted on, by orders of magnitude - and I have and easy 120k+ posts on about a dozen boards over the past 15 years. The fact that ReefCentral was mentioned as an ugly comparison made me do a bit of a doubletake as well - that place is an easy 2nd place in terms of civility. I was cracking up at the exchange because it was the closest this place would come to a tiff and it wouldn't raise an eyebrow by anyone on any other board I post on.

[Gig 'em @ NDstructible]

Aw man, sorry to hear this! You're welcome to come over to my place and talk tanks whenever you want. I'll always be more than happy to lend you a neighborly cup of salt or some RO/DI in a pinch!

[FarmerTy]

Sorry to hear this as well. I appreciate you and your wife's contributions to the club while we had you guys! [emoji4]

[+FluxCapacitor]

Sorry to see you go and I'm sorry I didn't get to know you. I've had a relatively good experience here and I can say I've met some pretty cool people in the short time I've been here. I do share your sentiment though about some of the more experienced reefers on this board being "know it alls" and condescending. It takes a special personality to teach people new things in a meaningful way and I've had to focus very hard on how to communicate with people in this fashion as my job requires that I educate the less experienced. I definitely can smell when someone stinks from a mile away and the fact that you posted this in the way you did tells me that you are a good guy. Take care and safe travels.

[mFrame]

As many stated before I'm really sorry to hear this, especially since I run the show. I wish that I'd had a chance to respond before you decided to leave. The staff and I do our best to be inclusive and to moderate snarky or rude posts. We try to balance that without being outright censors, which is often a hard line to walk. That said, if anyone here EVER feels that the rules have been violated, that a newbie is being singled out, or that someone is being bullied or pushed around then all they need to do is click the "Report" button and one of us immediately addresses it. We catch most of those types of things, but there is quite a bit of activity here and sometimes we miss one. It's up to the community in large part to police itself and to let us know when we miss something so that we can take care of it. For the most part, I think the club does a great job of it. But obviously we've missed something or you wouldn't have felt the way you did and posted what you did.

If you're still around and would like to discuss it, please don't hesitate to contact me.

If you're gone, well, I'm sorry to see you go. I urge anyone else who feels the same and hasn't said anything to contact me or one of the mods directly via PM. We can't fix it if we don't know what's wrong.

I'm locking this thread but not deleting it as I think it's important that we as a club see this and think about it. We were all newbies here once, even me, and can use the reminder of what that feels like. We all come here because we love the hobby and want to share it, not to belittle others who are trying to learn.