Divers Beware!

[George Monnat Jr]

Especially in the Black and Aegean Seas.

Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose

Sevastopol, Ukraine (CBS Seattle) – Three elite Ukrainian commandos have gone AWOL.

The dolphins are highly trained, intelligent, and can strike anywhere.

Ukrainian media reported earlier this month that three military trained dolphins didn’t return to their base in the Crimean port of Sevastopol. The dolphins were reported to be out during a training exercise.

These particular dolphins are trained in the use of special knives and firearms to kill enemy divers. They are also adept in the use of explosives to sink enemy ships.

It’s unknown if the three missing dolphins had such equipment on them when they went missing, but it is believed that they are out seeking mates.

The Ukrainian dolphin program has its roots in the Soviet era. During the cold war, the U.S.S.R. trained the dolphins to attack enemies and detect underwater mines.

The U.S.S.R. handed over the program to the Ukrainians after its break-up.

Dolphins are used in militaries across the world. The United States has such a program although their dolphins are not trained to attack and are used for intelligence purposes.

Those dolphins were used for the war in Iraq.

[Brooks]

I don't even know what to say right now... Except I'm going to equip my Clownfish with knives and explosives.

[+Capt. Obvious]

Killer Commando Dolphins from the Ukraine....from the studio that brought you Killer Clowns from Outer Space

[CaptainK]

So the Austin Powers movies were somewhat accurate? Frickin lasers!

[Gonzobob]

Clownfish hell. I've equipped er, armed my starfish (er, sea stars) with razor blades and guns. I'll hold explosives in reserve for the hermits.